Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
