My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize