turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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