i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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