Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
