Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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