It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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