Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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