I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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