my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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