you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's like heaven, but drunker
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
