I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
