lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize