make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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