I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize