somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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