WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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