Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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