so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize