sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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