Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
