so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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