walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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