hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
