ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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