that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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