he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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