I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
