my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
