soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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