Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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