Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
