i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Someone signed my nipple.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
