my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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