you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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