508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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