i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
