So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
