glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
