if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
that's an acceptable place to lick
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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