is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
