Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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