I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
