She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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