i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
