if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize