I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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