I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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