What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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