Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
