kristin has been a bad kristin
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
