there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
