Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize