Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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