This girl is more easily done than said...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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