Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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