you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize