I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
