The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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