just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
