Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
my liver is dry heaving
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
