Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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