She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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