Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
