Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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