I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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