eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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