whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
