dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
