Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
