it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
sex in a hospital.. check
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
