im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
