i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
