I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize