He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
