I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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