He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
